September 10, 2002 - 6:02 p.m.

Okay, so I went to the Super Wal-Mart in Winder today to purchase motor oil and a quart of Double Chocolate Nestle's Quik Chocolate Milk, which is probably as close as we will ever come to the elixir of the gods. I was in there all of about 15 minutes. However, upon exiting said establishment, I realized that someone had taken that time to tuck under my windshield wiper the interesting little newsletter I currently hold. I tell you, it is highly informative.

Apparently, the Pope's recent visit to the U.S. was to "dedicate this already blessed nation to Mother Mary." The gist of the article is that the Catholic Church is about to rise up and try to stamp out the God-fearing Protestant citizens of our great nation. That came as a shock to me, as my wife and in-laws as well as many of my friends happen to be Catholic. To think, all this time, they were plotting against me. (Yep, I'm keeping my eye on you, Patty.)

Anyway, other insights include the statement that the institution of Sunday is proof of the evil power of the Catholic Church (everyone knows we are SUPPOSED to go to church on Saturday!) and the truth about Rome's involvement in instigating the American Civil War and the Holocaust.

Man, the things you can learn in the Winder Wal-Mart parking lot.

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